Love Thyself
Is it human nature to want what you don’t have? When I was a kid I desperately wanted long
locks of blond flowing hair. My hair is
brown…and short. And I used to have
uneven bangs thanks to my mom’s bang-cutting guide: masking tape.
locks of blond flowing hair. My hair is
brown…and short. And I used to have
uneven bangs thanks to my mom’s bang-cutting guide: masking tape.
In an effort to obtain curls, the Pepto-Bismol pink curlers that
clicked into place around their deteriorating foam inside were sometimes part
of my bedtime routine. After my shower, I
would pull the box of them out from under the bathroom sink and begin to twirl
each curler around as much of a chunk of my short damp hair as would fit. Then I would go to bed with bubbling
excitement knowing that I would wake up in the morning to curly model-esque
hair. Foam rollers at their best. The result looked strange. And it wasn’t me. Wiry kinks of hair poked out of the curls
giving my locks a stronger semblance to barbed wire, not a magazine
worthy hair job. The amount of hairspray
I used to tame the non-conformist fly-aways also provided my hair with a noticeable unnatural clumpy
shine.
clicked into place around their deteriorating foam inside were sometimes part
of my bedtime routine. After my shower, I
would pull the box of them out from under the bathroom sink and begin to twirl
each curler around as much of a chunk of my short damp hair as would fit. Then I would go to bed with bubbling
excitement knowing that I would wake up in the morning to curly model-esque
hair. Foam rollers at their best. The result looked strange. And it wasn’t me. Wiry kinks of hair poked out of the curls
giving my locks a stronger semblance to barbed wire, not a magazine
worthy hair job. The amount of hairspray
I used to tame the non-conformist fly-aways also provided my hair with a noticeable unnatural clumpy
shine.
Besides curls there are other things that I want(ed) too. I’ve always wanted an older sister, a home in
Florida, a Hispanic complexion, a green thumb, the ability to track and retain
details, a deep knowledge of art history, a childhood that included more
friends, a louder voice, cuticles that look effortlessly perfect, and a nose
that doesn’t create giant sweat beads when I eat spicy, sour or tart
foods.
Florida, a Hispanic complexion, a green thumb, the ability to track and retain
details, a deep knowledge of art history, a childhood that included more
friends, a louder voice, cuticles that look effortlessly perfect, and a nose
that doesn’t create giant sweat beads when I eat spicy, sour or tart
foods.
But no amount of wishing will change any of those things.
Wanting what I don’t have is a hopeless depressing endeavor. So I’ve decided to know thyself and love
thyself.
Wanting what I don’t have is a hopeless depressing endeavor. So I’ve decided to know thyself and love
thyself.
Each day I look at myself in the mirror and whisper sweet
loving words to the tired-eyed confused woman staring back at me. She’s not used to this kind of positive
attention. Like an athlete starting to
train for a race, the starting feels uncomfortable. But slowly, with each day, the body starts to
relax into the new rhythm. Fighting
human nature to want what you don’t have is difficult but I’m practicing a
little positivity today and wishing myself different a little less.
loving words to the tired-eyed confused woman staring back at me. She’s not used to this kind of positive
attention. Like an athlete starting to
train for a race, the starting feels uncomfortable. But slowly, with each day, the body starts to
relax into the new rhythm. Fighting
human nature to want what you don’t have is difficult but I’m practicing a
little positivity today and wishing myself different a little less.